so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
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When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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