Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
