i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
