If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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