Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
