her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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