thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize