Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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