I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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