I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
