btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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