i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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