I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.