He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting