Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now