i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
