I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I will pee on everything he values.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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