I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have already put on my inside pants.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
