Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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