i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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