Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
