if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize