Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
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Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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