It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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