singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You smell like stripper and shame
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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