absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
