I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
