I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
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I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it