I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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