he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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