woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
