Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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