You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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