erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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