ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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