I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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