I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
