I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize