My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
