Christians are straight up FREAKS
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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