Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
