I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
