dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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