It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock deserves a montage
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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