my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
