Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
