omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
