I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
