So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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