i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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