the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize