sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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