Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize