There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
