Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
