Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
