He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
